This has been something that I have been thinking about for a long time and finally think I have figured it out… Why girls go for douchebags all the time. I have noticed that all the girls that I end up liking, are ending up with guys that treat them like trash and are super [...]
This has been something that I have been thinking about for a long time and finally think I have figured it out… Why girls go for douchebags all the time. I have noticed that all the girls that I end up liking, are ending up with guys that treat them like trash and are super controlling. I am amazed at how many girls I talk to say that there are no nice guys to date, that they have given up trying to find one. Well all I have to say about that is, they are out there but you have to look around and you will actually find lots of them. Here is my theory to support this:
Ladies let me ask you a question, how many douchey guys approach you when you go out for a night or out in general? Probably more than you would like to count. Now think about how many nice guys have approached you, probably not too many if any at all. When I go out for a night with some friends and I see a girl I might like to talk to, there is always a douchey guy or two hanging around her trying to get her number or hook up for the night. Now when someone like me sees this, we (the non-douchey guys) tend to think that if we approached her a few minutes after the other guy did, she would be annoyed and just shrug us off (which does happen, I have tried this). Nice guys usually after being rejected in such a circumstance often times take it personally and don’t bother to try the next time. Most of the nicer guys have to work up the courage to actually go and talk to a girl they like in the first place and being shot down makes it harder every time. So there we sit, wanting to say something, but never actually doing it hoping that girl might actually come talk to us. Douchey guys on the other hand tend to take “No” as, “You just have to try harder I really want you” and try the age old trick of wearing down the girl until they say yes. So the girl over time, thinking she is never going to find that nice guy (mainly because they haven’t approached her), settles for the least douchey of the guys that hit on her. I have seen this happen time and time again and I could most likely scientifically prove this, if only I had the time.
To sum up my theory in one sentence: Girls really don’t like douchebags, but rather settle for them because the nice guys are too shy to approach them. So girls, talk to the quiet guy in the corner! You’ll be surprised at what you find.
*Pro Tip*
Girls, you won’t find these nice guys in the clubs or bars, but rather at events. For example, I go to the bicycle shows to check out the new products for the upcoming year and to buy new bikes. How does this example help me you ask? Well let me tell you. Think about the people that would go to an event that sells bicycles, they care about fitness (don’t want a slob right?), they like the outdoors and probably like traveling. How do you find the nice guys there? Simple. Even if you don’t plan on buying anything, ask one of the guys you think may potential what they think you should buy. The nice guys will spend the time and help you find something you like and if you aren’t interested in them, just say “Thanks for the help” and leave.
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6 Responses
You’re forgetting one very big reason: confidence and what women believe about themselves subconsiously. Confidence is a very big deal to anyone; confidence is very sexy. Men and women alike will prefer a confident person than a person that believes him/herself to be ugly.
Also, a man who has no confidence is, to a woman, like having a sucky job. They’ll be sad about themselves all the time, and the woman will have to try and build up his confidence all the time. You know how men hate “does this make me look fat?” Women hate downers as much as men.
And what women believe about themselves sub-counsciously (i probably misspelled that). If a woman has little confidence about herself, she’ll believe she doesn’t deserve any better than a douchebag, or will convince herself that there are no non-douchebags around even when the nice guys are right next to her. Plain and simple.
I think Alexia is right, I consider myself a nice shy guy naturally, but when it comes down to it that also includes a lack of confidence. Confidence is the main thing and when you come off as shy and to polite to the point where your not saying what you really feel it is a turn off to girls. I am trying to come come out of being that quite shy guy, its pretty tough but the times I have been extremely confident I have had results. Its a constant internal battle to not be like that. Yeah there are d-bag guys out there no doubt about that, but at least they have the confidence to approach the girl and go for what they want whatever the final goal may be. I think that fact is that those douchebag guys as bad as they may be are more exciting at first, than the typical shy nice. The shy guy never truly portrays his personality because he is afraid of being judged and the rejection so the girl never gets to see how he really is.
I dated a few guys like this before meeting the Hubs, and there really is something attractive about self-confidence… but it’s just the amount that bothers some people. Sure, people that are over-confident can appear “douchey”, but being with someone who is so sure of themselves is like a drug–it makes you want to be sure of yourself too.
That being said, some guys are just jerks, and nice guys shouldn’t finish last.
I agree self confidence is huge. Don’t approach someone like you feel sorry for yourself but rather thinking that there is no way you can fail. I guess the people I have problems with are the sleezy looking dudes that get all grabby on the girl I am with, or the one I am talking to even when she tells them to back off.
Even if the nice guys have the confidence, the douchey ones still are more confident, if we think about it; intimidating even. Maybe that’s the reason why douchebags are the ones that women notice more.
It’s not totally about being shy, nice guys generally are just quieter, and they don’t just approach any woman, they have standards.
It’s so true. I think I am one of the very few (lucky) girls who actually met The Guy drunk in a bar…